Saturday, January 12, 2008

Ann Coulter's dad dies and Chris Kelly is a prick about it... Stopping the 24/7 bile spew... Condolences, Ann...

In my never-ever-wrong opinion, Ann Coulter is an advocate for repulsive and wrongheaded positions of all sorts. She also frustrates legitimate progress in political matters by utilizing a tone and attitude that drags discussion into the icky mud of hatefulness.

Nonetheless, she is a person. Her father died recently.

Do you know what might be worse than being Ann Coulter? Utilizing her icky mourning strategy as a launching pad for your own vitriolic anti-Coulter article. That's Chris Kelly for you.

It's hard to imagine that anyone could be more despicable than Ann often is, but Chris has managed to do just that. "Ann Coulter Kills at Her Father's Funeral", which appears at The Huffington Post, is damn near as reprehensible as any Jew-perfecting, faggot-calling, liberals-are-sub-human smarminess Coulter has ever vomited onto the page.

Incensed at her use of a family death to mock Ted Kennedy (twice!) and describing her as "Ophelia with her violetless garlands, crossed with a real fucking hack", Kelly dissects Coulter's obituary/memorial article about her father and his death. Chris inserts his own not-so-humorous asides along the way.

Kelly, as you might guess, isn't the only person beating on Coulter for penning a politicized obit. The jackasses at Democratic Underground are piling on, too. Here are two standout comments about the John Vincent Coulter piece:

"No doubt he secretly wished his semen went onto the bed sheets instead of spawning that horrendous, awful thing known as Ann." "Sounds like good riddance to me. Too bad there wasn't a family plan."

Someone Dugg the Coulter article and the comments feature more of the same ugliness:

"What a better place this world would be if this man had been born sterile." "Death was the only way to escape your Medusa like gaze! I hope you're next you hateful cow!"

You might anticipate that participants at the History Channel Discussion Board would be a bit more reserved. You might be wrong. "Tweaking" Coulter's comments on activist 9/11 widows, a HC boarder notes:

"It's interesting that she's one of those millionaire broads who has turned into her own personal grief-arazzis. I've never seen anyone enjoying their fathers' death so much."

Another comments:

"Her father really sounded like a pig. It was enlightening to find out who raised her. It explains a lot. I'm glad someone decided to post this, and that I read it. Showing what a mean spirited person she is, her final toast to her father was to hope for some people to die. My what fine lessons he taught her."

Follow me here...

One. I dislike almost everything Coulter has to say as much (if not more) than most people.

Two. One of the reasons I dislike her articles and comments is because they are delivered with a lack of civility. Rational argument and legitimate exploration of ideas disappears in attempts at "witty" name-calling, "humorous" insult, "biting" honesty and all of the other bullshit that really amounts to pure nastiness.

Three. Being an asshole in response to someone perceived as an asshole doesn't really improve the overall quality of political discourse. When you fight fire with fire, you usually end up with a really big fucking fire.

Four. Many mamas have given lectures that included warnings against "stooping to their level". There's a reason everyone's received one of those speeches before.

Five. It's very difficult to persuade people to your way of thinking when you are on record as being a huge prick.

In other words, leave Ann Coulter alone on this one. You might find the obit distasteful, but nothing she could have said in that column was quite as distasteful as beating up on someone who just lost a parent. What you might see as an inelegant bit of opportunism may very well be AC's attempt to follow the Shakespearean recommendation to "give sorrow words". Bill knew that "the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break", after all.

Death is a tough thing, people. Even if you're Ann Coulter. Despite rumor to the contrary emanating from some circles, she is a human being. When a human being's dad dies, it is not a fun time. It is a very sad time. It is a very stressful time. People react different to death. Brett Favre ran out and played a great football game when his dad died. Others take two weeks off and disappear from view. Some cry and slip into a period of serious reflection about mortality. Some write political columns in which they unsuccessfully try to be funny.

If you're not some crazy who actually believes in perfecting Jews, forcibly converting Muslims, etc., temper your reaction to Coulter's column. Show the kind of humanity you might think she lacks. Don't send her hate mail. Send her a casserole. Don't write something hateful, express your condolences.

Do it sincerely. Someday (if they haven't already), your parents are going to die, too. That's gonna be a very shitty time for you. You wouldn't like having someone spit in your face while you're shoveling dirt over the grave, would you? Don't spit in Coulter's.

In addition to being A Nice Thing to Do, holding your fire has a few other advantages. It demonstrates a commitment to a more humane political discourse, which might someday lead to a space where real debate and rational decision making transpires. It underlines your ability to empathize and sympathize with others (which, anti-Coulter folks usually trumpet as a good thing).

Mainly, though, it's A Nice Thing to Do. Isn't that enough?

Ann, if you happen to be reading this, please accept my condolences. We can get back to arguing later.

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.

John Gregory Brown
Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery


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  1. She left herself open to this by what she said at her dad's funeral. And her words show us where she learned her craft. being mean to his wife (saying he was married to the wrong woman for fifty years) and his son (saying he was a cancer). I think Chris Kelly gave her what she hands out, cruel and crude words, not caring how it effects the target.

  2. Rookienails, I understand and share your frustration with Ann, but if you don't give a shit about being a decent human being, don't give Ann Coulter or anyone else that lecture either, because it rings hollow. And it does not one bit of good for anyone, including and especially any of the Kennedy's.

    John, you're dead on. Death of one's parents is really tough. It's a tough time for everyone. Including and especially someone as fragile as Ann. She acts tough. But mostly that's because she gets her feelings hurt so easily, with all the invective she has to hand out. That's my experience. The tougher they act, the more fragile they are on the inside. That's why they behave that way, generally. Pride has a way of making us brittle.

    I hope Ann's doing ok. This has got to be a tough time. I know it will be for me, as well, when my parents finally pass. It's the ugliest thing about politics. We can't even take a moment to remember that we care about it because we care about people, not just to prove how right we are about the world and how wrong everyone else is about the way they see it, even when they are kind of nasty.

    If were to spit on everyone who is nasty when they engage in politics, there wouldn't be a lot of dry people in that process. Sadly. As you say, John, that's not something for any of us to be proud of. It's something for us to do better at. Because it undermines our ability to have a decent, thoughtful, and rational discussion. We get so lost in this bullshit and our bullshit in this whole mess of democratic politics, that we can't even see straight enough to imagine that such a conversation is possible, we get so used to the ugliness. Like it's somehow better than it really is. And like we are somehow better than we really are when we engage politics like that.

    I was just thinking, tonight, John, as I was shopping for cars this weekend, and realizing how little my teacher's salary buys me or that a military salary or a professor's salary might buy me and all the opportunities there are out there to do so many other things that might easily and much more painlessly make me money and as I talked with the ex-cop who was selling me my car, and as every day I look out into the abyss that is the dysfunctional, ugly mess of democratic politics, that I should consider something else. I like money. And I have no self-righteous hang-ups about making it or those who do.

    But this piece on Ann reminds me what I care about in this process. I care about this shit ending and about a more reasonable and decent engagement of this process, where rational discussion does not continue to be lost in all the stupid and futile enmity borne of self-righteous posturing pretending to be something more omniscient or final than it really is.

    A bunch of people with opinions. And far too much shittiness.

    Every once in a while, we gotta step back from that shit and say, "I'm sorry to hear about your dad."

  3. She got what she deserved!What goes around comes around. Should we "Ask you about your dead father?"

  4. Get a sense of humor, ass clown. This was hysterical.

  5. 1980STYLEGRAFFITTITXTINGJune 11, 2015 at 1:37 PM

    Life is so boring. Tired of running after some witch with a beautiful mind. S/he refuses to give in. Won't talk. Under the threat of a nigger's gun. The whole world is, actually. Davit appears to be longing for "generic regularity". Ok then. Let's go to the next big thing that might never be. What about replacing the Statue of Liberty with Angelfood McSpade. OH! WAIT! SORRY! SO SORRY! That's beyond racist! Maybe if I were mega-rock star royalty I could get away with texting that-or even singing about it. Why? Its prejudice. But its a cool kind of prejudice! Its not corrosive. Rubio reminds me of Ricky Riccardo. That is not anti-spanish. Its generic. Follow me?

  6. Catacombs, PhiladelphiaJune 11, 2015 at 2:29 PM

    Davidrxy was 80's high energy. S/he was all about high energy. S/he would walk into Catacombs at the same time each & every week with the same ladies & 2 big men (security?) . The DJ caught on & would play "Sinderella" by Betty Wright (Rivera Mixer). He played Sinderella because she had requested it once & he did not have the record, but went out to buy it. I would go there after a long week at the office. I knew who s/he was. I approached Davit & flat out told her I thought s/he looked like Grace Jones & the Bladerunner girl. I thought s/he was a foxy drag king. Of course s/he was insulted. S/he took it the wrong way. S/he takes everything the wrong way. But I was on the same page. I understood . After that, it was always just a smile and a nod or a hello. S/he never gave me the time of day. Arrogant -Bobcat W.