I follow politics. I know that every asswipe with a blog believes he's the cat's PJ's when it comes to political insight. I also know that I'm smarter than those jerkoffs. Thus, you should listen to me when it comes to almost all matters political.
Okay, that brings me to last night. I'm drunk on a Nyquil OD, sitting on the couch and watching the cable news hacks do their half-ass post-mortem on the Iowa caucus results. During my hazy hours of channel flipping, I encounter the corpse of Larry King (who may know something about Kennedy, the magic bullet, etc.) talking to John Edwards.
Edwards starts framing NH and other upcoming face-offs as Obama v. Edwards. Hillary is not mentioned. King, no longer admired for his perceptive interviews, even noticed this and asked JE about HC. Edwards jibber jabbered about change and how the Iowa results clearly demonstrated that it was all about "change" and that he and Obama were the bearers of said commodity.
I'm not a Hillary fan. I'd prefer to vote for the retarded ghost of Adolph Hitler than Ms. Clinton. However, it was complete BS of the stinkiest kind for Edwards to pretend that a 1% margin in an early caucus proved anything except that a few of his supporters brought better casseroles to their neighbors' homes for the caucuses than did Hillary's. Note to Clinton fans: green bean casserole is a loser. You gotta have cheese to break the 30% mark.
Anyway, I wake up today and start compulsively flipping channels again while I think about reloading on cold meds. That's when I spy Hillary yapping at someone about Iowa. She pretends like a third place finish was pretty cool and mouths something about how she was never a big favorite in Iowa and that she was happy with the finish.
Edwards' gibberish was slicker and sleazier than Clinton's nonsense. Both were outright lies. I mean lies, too. Not misstatements. Not misconceptions. Not incorrect interpretations. Lies.
Edwards knows that Clinton is still in the race bigger and badder than he'll probably ever get. Clinton knows that she got her ass handed to her in Iowa.
They're liars. I'll leave everyone to decide whether that matters or not, but don't be fooled. They've both reached the point of no return. They shot right past the intersection of Reality Road and Spin Street and are now on the Complete Bullshit Superhighway.
It really does make me a tad sick. The back of my throat have a little of that acid reflux-ey burn because episodes like these make me puke just a little bit. Would it be so hard for Clinton to publicly recognize that she couldn't nab a third of the vote and needs to go back to the drawing board? Does Edwards really help himself by pretending that his 1% edge has made Hillary disappear? In my estimation, it makes them both look as dumb as Fred Thompson (which, by the way, is pretty fucking dumb).
I didn't hear Obama lie his ass off. That's not an endorsement, though. It's easy to be honest when you're winning.
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