Dear Barack Obama,
I have solved the Democratic delegate crisis of 2008. I have crafted an elegant solution to handling both the Michigan and Florida delegations. My solution will not cost the states, parties or candidates anything. My solution will not require a re-vote. The John Brown solution fixes the whole mess instantly.
Just give Hillary what she wants.
Seriously. He should let her have her precious little phony Florida and Michigan victories and move on to bigger and better things. Like winning the nomination without them.
You aren't going to need them. You've done the math. Just hand 'em over with a smile. Explain your preference for focusing on bigger national issues and America's well-being, as opposed to intra-party bickering.
If you're playing one-on-one with someone and you're whipping them, there's no reason to worry about cutting them some slack when they travel or claim BS fouls. You're gonna win either way, you might as well silence the whining in the process.
Plus, there are other advantages to the John Brown plan. How many superdelegates are gonna screw the gracious guy? Who's going to back Hillary into winning when she's only marginally close because you were the bigger person? No one.
You'll go from being the leader to the presumed nominee immediately. Oh, and the Jeremiah Wright thing will disappear for at least two weeks' worth of news cycles.
Give her Florida and Michigan. Everyone will know she doesn't deserve them. They'll count in her favor on paper, but they'll weigh her down with negative karma.
If you do it just right, she'll look like shit and you'll be the champ. The trick is in the presentation, but I think you can handle it. Hand 'em over and tell her to meet you in Denver if she plans on dragging this mess out until then.
Then, stop talking about her. Period. Make her a ghost at the debates and don't utter her name again until you toss some love her way during your acceptance speech. Your only opponent right now is John McCain.
READER EXERCISE: Consider the proposition "John Brown is just kidding about giving Florida and Michigan to Hillary". Mentally outline reasons why this proposition may or may not be true. Determine whether he is joking or serious. Explain your conclusion.
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