Showing posts with label lying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lying. Show all posts

Friday, April 25, 2008

Barack Obama's NEWEST Controversial Relationship... Sick kids, national epidemics? Obama DOESN'T CARE!!!!



A Letter to Readers of Prepare Yourselves for a Settlement



MR. OBAMA? WHERE DO YOU FIND HOPE IN CHILDREN SUFFERING ? WHERE IS THE CHANGE IN PROMOTING A NATIONAL HEALTH CRISIS? WHEN WILL YOU FINALLY RENOUNCE, REJECT, REPUDIATE AND COMPLETELY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THIS EVIL-DOER AND HIS MANIPULATION OF CHILDREN FOR PERSONAL PROFIT?

Dear Readers,

I'm changing my thinking about Obama. I think it's high time for Barack Obama to denounce, renounce, reject, end and completely decimate at least one of his incredibly destructive long-term relationships.

Although I've been an Obama supporter, I feel my allegiance slipping with each and every day the Senator from Illinois refuses to repudiate some of the unsavory characters with whom he is close and the evils these acquaintances visit upon the United States of America.

It seems like a new scandal by association emerges every single day. I've kept my reservations to myself as Obama fumbled through discussions regarding Jeremiah Wright, Tony Rezko, Louis Farakhan and William Ayres. Now, however, a new questionable relationship has emerged and I am unwilling to say anything nice or decent about Senator Barack Obama until he comes clean and completely distances himself from a true villain--a monster hellbent on destroying the health and happiness of American children.

Obama has been avoiding scrutiny on this simply because of his party and background. How would the public and press deal with something like this if the candidate was someone other than media darling Barack Obama:

*Candidate publicly admits to appreciating and enjoying Mr. X.
*Mr. X is directly involved with marketing products to children.
*The products with which Mr. X is involved are known to be harmful to children.
*The ills created by the products are considered a growing national emergency.
*Candidate continues his support of Mr. X and fails to renounce the villain.

That bizarre scenario isn't some sort of far-fetched fantasy. It's happening today.

Barack Obama is the Candidate and Mr. X...

You may know him as SpongeBob SquarePants. Obama publicly admitted his love of Mr. SquarePants in a very public interview. Mr. Obama must be acutely aware that Mr. SquarePants image is used to sell sugary sweet cereal, Pop Tarts and other high-calorie/high-carb processed food products to children. Children! Child obesity is a national epidemic and a true NATIONAL EMERGENCY. Yet Barack Obama won't speak out.

Senator Obama remains silent as children suffer and die--all the while speaking positively about one of the merchants of death responsible for these horrors.

MR. OBAMA? WHERE DO YOU FIND HOPE IN CHILDREN SUFFERING ? WHERE IS THE CHANGE IN PROMOTING A NATIONAL HEALTH CRISIS? WHEN WILL YOU FINALLY RENOUNCE, REJECT, REPUDIATE AND COMPLETELY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THIS EVIL-DOER AND HIS MANIPULATION OF CHILDREN FOR PERSONAL PROFIT?

If this is a new kind of politics, I want nothing to do with it.

Sincerely,

John Brown
Concerned American Citizen

Note: I originally wrote this after reading a rather bizarre post from Evan Gahr. Moments after posting this, I was pointed toward another, equally enlightening post at No Quarter. My joke is the most reasonable of the three. And that is sad.


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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Hillary Clinton announces two-monster creature feature... Selling fear again, with a twist....

Only Hillary Monster Clinton could combine perverse creativity with an absolute lack of decency to turn the politics of fear inward onto itself. Hillary isn't warning of an outside evil--she's on the klaxon warning us that John McCain will feast on the naive, innocent flesh of Barack Obama if given the chance.

It's a bizarre proof that even relatively bright people can't figure out very simple things.

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero
Alien vs. Predator
Dracula vs. Frankenstein
Freddy vs. Jason

Clinton vs. McCain?

Hillary Clinton is a fucking monster and her latest attempt to gather the support amongst rank and file voters and slow-to-announce superdelegates is to warn them that John McCain is a monster, too. Who better to fight an evil monster hellbent on the acquisition of power than another hell-spawned creature with zero conscience, right?

Is this really where we are after 15 months of campaigning? Sweet Baby Jesus playing air guitar while listening to Canned Heat on vinyl, people are sick.

It was bad enough when the media decided that actually talking about boring stuff like real policy and the direction of the country had to take a backseat to handicapping elections as if they were the 6th race at Evangeline Downs. Now, the politicians themselves are pitching themselves based on their own self-serving prognostication "skills".

If you needed one more reason to think Hillary Clinton is the embodiment of every fucked up aspect of American politics, last night's bizarre performance on ABC should've done the trick.

Monster say Barack okay. Monster say Hillary better. Me better because McCain Monster strong. Must be strong to fight McCain Monster. Barack no monster. Me mightiest monster. Hillary survive many monster battles. Monster is fighter. Monster eat brains.

Three words: Fuck you, Monster.

Clinton's big sales pitch is that she's been thoroughly "vetted" because Republicans and sane Democrats have hated her for decades. Thus, she has built up some kind of resistance to their mean-spirited attacks. She can handle those nasty RNC bastards. They've kicked her around for years and she's still standing. Obama, she warns, is a bit of an unknown. Sure, he's okay with us, but what's going to happen when the rabid devil dogs of the Republican hate machine start trying to chew off the very kneecaps she's been trying to shatter, huh?

If you fear Republicans, vote Hillary.

The politics of fear used to be about mobilizing voters around external threats. If you don't vote for me, the evil Ninjas are going to sneak into your closets and execute your children. If you don't vote for me, black guys are going to steal your kids at 3:00 a.m. while on a work furlough from the prison. Vote for me or something really fucking scary will make you die. It's a simple and time-tested bullshit equation.

Only Hillary Monster Clinton could combine perverse creativity with an absolute lack of decency to turn the politics of fear inward onto itself. Hillary isn't warning of an outside evil--she's on the klaxon warning us that John McCain will feast on the naive, innocent flesh of Barack Obama if given the chance.

It's a bizarre proof that even relatively bright people can't figure out very simple things. Clinton has been getting her pants suited ass handed to her on a regular basis from sea to shining sea because she's been unable to clue into the fact that a pretty fat portion of the electorate is sick and tired of attack politics, lying for power and general sleaziness. Now that her shot-snorting back is against the wall you'd think that she'd come to her senses and make an effort to show the world that maybe, just maybe, she isn't a monstrous bitch who's way to easy to hate.

No dice. She's doing the exact opposite. She's doing more of what put her in trouble in the first place. It's the most counter-intuitive thing I can imagine. If you're losing to hope and an idea that our politics can change it just doesn't make much sense to argue vociferously that the general election will inevitably be a hopeless and senseless bloodbath or that the only way for D-people to secure the highest office is by turning the old school politics up a notch.

Hillary is now selling the idea of a Monster when the voters have clearly expressed a preference for a Van Helsing.

The only possible way to sell that particularly malignancy--that you're worth a vote because you're the right Monster for the job--is to make people pee their pants at the prospect of facing a Republican Monster later. It's sick and wrong.

It's sick because it really is the same old shitty song at a higher volume. It's another chorus of politics as bloodsport. Another invitation to pick a candidate because their better at playing a noxious game.

It's dressed up in "fighter" lingo. That's just what we need, isn't it? We have a country with a government that seems to have about a 2% success rate on anything it tries to accomplish and the best way to fix the mess is to declare a neverending war on those who don't share your sentiments? Fuck persuading the other guy. Just needle him to death with bullshit, disable him and force something through with no regard for decency, honesty or honor. Awesome plan. It's really been working lately, huh?

Oh, and it's wrong because Barry O. has done a pretty damn good job of proving that you don't necessarily have to be a complete slimeball to engender support, increase interest and snare votes a-plenty. If the Monster Plan worked, Hillary wouldn't be on the losing end of this nomination process, would she?

I was watching John McCain at an AP function the other day. He was talking about his willingness to sit down with the Democratic candidate to try to come up with a way to decrease the influence of the 527s. McCain was one of the only Republicans who didn't sport wood after watching the Swiftboat freaks turn John Kerry into Ho Chi Minh's illegitimate lovechild. McCain promises a sincere and decent general election.

He won't be able to deliver with perfection. Not even close. Surrogates will go nuts. Hardliners will freak out. The media, unable to resist the opportunity to sink their vampiric fangs into the meat of make-believe scandal, will make things uglier than they need to be.

That being said, I don't think we're going to see the Rovian attack mutts this time around. That isn't McCain's game. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he's Mr. Awesome. I do, however, think he's a character cut or three above Geo. W. Bush.

And now that he's on record about not being a Monster, it'll be tough for him to get too nasty if he changes his mind. That's another reason why Hillary's scary campfire story is so lame. If there's ever been a time where the Democrats don't necessarily need an evil genius to duke it out in a Godzilla vs. Mothra spectacle, this is the time.

So, we have a doomed candidate who's only strategy seems to be positioning herself as a big enough asshole to battle another giant asshole even though that plan doesn't work and there may not be another asshole to fight.

And this is where we are after 15 months. I'll return to a simple three-word comment to summarize.

Fuck you, Monster.

Now everybody, let's do the Monster Mash!



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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Maybe someone is figuring this shit out... Hillary's speaking gigs not working out so well...

Two interesting stories. They almost make me wonder if maybe folks are beginning to see through the bullshit.

If a tree falls in the forest... You get the idea. Does this actually count as a speech if no one bothered to listen?

No you can't! At least a few people at this speaking engagement were ready to answer what Hillary mistakenly assumed was a purely rhetorical question. Whoops, Monster!

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Hillary Clinton: Irrelevant but impossible to ignore... A few diseased trees in a much larger forest...

Forest. Forest. Must ignore tree.

Like every other halfway sane person in the world, I've been a little pissed off at Hillary Clinton since Barry O. opened his mouth and made the politically-unwise decision to attempt an explanation of why so many people are pissed off and, yes, bitter.

The Monster has been on the loose. She's running around faster than one of the infected from 28 Days Later, shrieking to all who will listen about just how damn elitist and "out of touch" Obama is.

It's the kind of fib-based, overcalculating, diseased thinking that exemplifies the Clinton campaign. After months of poo-pooing Obama's positive message and reminding us that things are so fucked up that only an experienced genius sniper-fire-dodger like The Monster can handle them, Hillary is now feigning shock that anyone might be even a teensy bit bitter about the way the economy and government have been doing their thing without offering the courtesy reach around to the "workin' folk."

Hillary four days ago: Wake up, people. Our country is up shit creek and I'm the only one with a paddle. Pregnant women are dying left and right because they don't have health insurance. Regular folks are watching the sheriff auction off their homes as we speak. Things are going to Hell in a handbasket! Do you really want to turn this clusterfuck over to a novice who isn't a Muslim, as far as I know? All Obama has is a pretty speech or two and this ultra-optimistic and utterly unrealistic belief that we can actually improve circumstances before the dawn of the next century. Give me a break. We need a little more alarmism and a lot less Norman Vincent Peale around here!

Hillary today: Can you believe my opponent? He actually thinks people are bitter over the state of America? Is he kidding? Why would anyone be bitter? Why would anyone be pissed off? Gee whiz, the people with whom I speak are optimistic, positive and excited about the future. How could anyone think things suck? Who would've put that kind of crazy idea into their heads, huh? Let's stop being smarty-pants elitists who draw attention to the bad stuff. Let's start being positive thinkers for a change!

That's a head-spinner, no?

Hillary is out doing shots, guzzling brew and playing with guns. She's reminding us that she's "in touch" with Joe Six Pack. She's running with the RNC talking points on her Blackberry, but going the extra mile by dropping her "g's" to sound more folksy.

The same Monster who tried to make sure the world jumped Obama's ass when he admitted a modicum of admiration for Ronnie Reagan's communication skills is now running to the right of Barry on every think imaginable in a crazed effort to convince Reagan Democrats that she's the Gipper without a penis.

Anyone who's still backing The Monster better be doing so out of admiration of her willingness to do absolutely anything to convince just one more person to vote for her. If you're willing to dump Obama for Clinton right now, she will personally give you a half-hour footrub and will chisel out a 10' ice sculpture of the White House for you. Toss in a donation and she'll kick her momma in the stomach, if you so desire.

If you're voting for Hillary, you are voting to reward the most obsessive and craven pursuit of power I have ever witnessed. A fighter? No. A disturbing freak. She is a zombie who, instead of feeding on the brains of others, dines on their votes.

Anyway, I get wrapped up in it all. It disgusts me, her intentional infection of the body politic with soul cancer. It intrigues me, too, because I cannot understand how anyone who pays a fucking shred of attention to all of this could possibly think she is anything short of dead inside. I get carried away with it.

I stare at the gnarled and dying trees she's planting and I lose focus on the larger forest. That's the point of this post. Hillary Clinton's campaign is a freakshow so compelling that it distracts us from the inevitable reality of her defeat.

We shouldn't give damn what she's saying, how she's saying it, how much it differs from both reality and what she said ten minutes ago, or to whom she's saying it.

Hillary Clinton isn't going to get the nomination and we all know that--at least those of us who are able to sensibly assess probabilities. The futures markets give her a slim-to-none chance. The math makes a mockery of the idea of Monster win. There's absolutely no evidence to suggest the kind of sea change she'd need among super-d's to capture the Democratic crown.

If she did defy all odds and nab the nomination, she'd get her ass handed to her anyway. Hillary Clinton cannot and will not become the President of the United States of America. She lost long ago and her lingering presence couldn't be less meaningful if her name was Alan Keyes.

But we watch and we have conniption fits because she comes at us from all angles with no memory of yesterday and no plan for tomorrow other than "kill, kill, kill". She is the evil robot monster run amok. The mindless serial killer chasing babysitters upstairs. She keeps going and going like Leatherface through the Texas woods.

It's good television and it pushes buttons, but it is nothing more than a few dried and dead trees rotting from within in a very large forest.

That being said, I'm not looking away. Here are a few other examples of just how hard it is for people to ignore the freakshow. For your additional reading pleasure (and because I know you can't resist, either):

*Bark, bugs, leaves and lizards has Hillary angst.
*Ben at Liberty and the Limits of Power sees a shameless monster, too.
*Carl Bernstein imagines a Hillary presidency--and sees an endless psychodrama.
*John Cole discusses Hillary Clinton, liar.
*Vichy Dems questions Hillary's bump and brew pedigree.
*Reign of Error has perspective and demonstrates great word efficiency.

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Saturday, April 12, 2008

Clinton & McCain react to Obama's "bitterness" comments... Why they're wrong and horrible...

Hey folks... If you like profanity-laced rants against the creepy little cheap-shot panderers known as Senators McCain and Clinton, this one is a keeper.

I thought my own response to the bullshitters who have feigned outrage over Barack Obama's exercise in truth-telling was pretty good. Ben at Liberty and the Limits of Power, however, kicks more ass. Here's a guy who's leaning toward McCain who's willing and able to take on the faux disgust Johnny Mac and The Monster have expressed.



An excerpt:

What Barack Obama said was not ill-chosen. It was honest. And you know how I know that? Because I've spent my entire fucking life amongst such people. This is where I come from. They are bitter. They do turn to guns and religion and anti-trade and anti-immigrant impulses to rationalize their bitterness and insecurity in a world where they can never be responsible for their own situation. It is THE problem in poor communities, white, black, and otherwise in America, in liberal democracies, but probably in illiberal areas of the world, as well.

Why are people so generally afraid of speaking such truths?


Good question, hombre. Very good question.

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Friday, April 11, 2008

Barack Obama says something true... Predictably, dumb-asses freak out... This, dear readers, is why we're probably doomed...

The whole damned world is going complete apeshit crazy because Barack Obama spat on a few sacred cows during a fund-raiser in San Francisco.

I'm sure you've seen it 1,982 times already, but just in case you're new to this pitiful excuse for controversy, here's what Barry said:

You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them...

And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not.


And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.


Oh. Fuck. The world is about to end. People are pissed.

Who's going crazy? Let's take a look...

The Dummies of Faith will be in a tizzy. How dare Obama claim that religious fervor tends to increase in times of stress and difficulty! Where does he get off saying something that every social scientist to graduate from every school other than ol' Stephens College (Taylor Marsh's alma mater) has said before? Sweet baby Jesus wearing a miniskirt while drinking Schlitz, who does Barack Obama think he is saying something that makes such complete fucking sense that no one with functioning synapses would dare deny it?

Oh, he pissed off the gun-nuts, too. They're suspending their Charlton Hesston mourning to yap about the way Barry O. just insulted their honor! Who is the Hussein Obama man and why would he argue that insecurity intensifies the desire to maintain gun ownership! Where does this charlatan get off claiming that gun owners are suspicious of a government that fucks them over lubelessly on a regular schedule? Barack Obama, don't even think of believing that unemployment increases crime rates, which inspires gun ownership.

Those who feel uneasy around people whose skin is darker than a standard Mead manilla envelope are angry, too. Barack Obama actually has the gall to say that unemployed blue-collar workers without college degrees might have a tendency to blame immigrants for their woes. That's crazy talk! Who could possibly imagine that poor white guys who've lived in Levittown since Day One and are scrapping for something to replace a lost union job might be a wee bit resentful of the brown dudes with whom they're now competing for lower-paying gigs? That's just ridiculous.

Obama was an idiot for thinking that some people are anti-trade. It's not like the entire Democratic party has been telling them that the 3-M plant and the Dial soap factory shut down because of NAFTA or anything. Why on God's green earth would Obama think that people become reflexively anti-trade after hearing alleged authorities blame the nation's ills on bad trade deals? Silly stuff, huh?

Barack just pissed off the whole USA by saying something that's basically true. It might not be convenient and it certainly doesn't meet our usual standards of ass-kissing vote-pandering, but it certainly isn't untrue.

Was it insulting? I suppose a wildly religious person who hated Mexicans, despised NAFTA and believed in black helicopters for reasons unrelated to economic decline might be a bit upset. Otherwise, I don't really see the insult.

Apparently, though, a lot of people seem to think those statements are Obama's way of pissing from the jet on the heads of those who populate flyover country.

John Brown knows flyover country. I'm in Kansas. And let me tell you a secret. That shit Obama is saying about small-towners and their weirdness? It's true. Shhhhh.... I don't want my neighbor to bash my head in with his die-cast NASCAR stock car replicas tonight, but it's true.

It's not true about everyone and it isn't always that simple. It is, however, pretty damn accurate. Which is probably why it's going to hurt some feelings and cause some backlash amongst the dumb-asses who refuse to recognize their craziness and who, frankly, are accidentally dragging the country down with every stupid step they take.

For those with reading comprehension problems (and I know you're out there), please not the following:

Barry O. didn't say that every gun owner was a nutjob motivated by irrational fear or a person who perceives oppression based on hideous economic conditions who is looking to assert some sort of control over his/her life in the midst of chaos via strident pro-gun thinking. Those folks are out there, but I don't see Obama claiming that every firearm owner is a psycho.

Obama didn't say that everyone who prays to the little baby Jesus is merely taking a hit from a hookah filled with the opiate of the poor. He's just noting the reality that certain kinds of religious intolerance tend to be ratcheted up when people have to eat hot dogs and ramen noodles while discussing the collection letters they just grabbed from the mailbox night after night. He's not saying that my great aunt the nun was a byproduct of poverty or that she joined the convent because she feared for her long-term economic well-being.

Obama isn't saying that every poor white person goes bigot. He is merely recognizing that xenophobia, bigotry and discriminatory acts tend to increase when the economy is in the shitter. That's not ground-breaking and it isn't insulting.

None of this matters, though. The world is pissed off. He didn't just touch the third rail, he did so while wearing a suit made of copper wiring.

The people who smell a little bit of the ugly truth cooking in their own kitchens will get disproportionately defensive. Those who are more interested in winning votes than being honest will mock outrage. The least bright among us will believe the nonsense the TV talking heads chant as they try to make this into Something Big. It's predictable. It's pathetic. That's why we're probably doomed in the long run.

We live in a world populated by so many idiots and assholes that something true will become something ugly. Somehow, this will become proof of a Racist Obama. It will be evidence of a Godless Obama. It will be offered as an indicator that Obama spends too much time at Starbucks being effete. And some people will believe it.

And you wonder why we have such a hard time getting anything done around here.

Sometimes, the problem with Barack Obama is that he overestimates the intelligence of his secondary audience. I think he knows how cynically cruel some can be and recognizes that things will be spun ugly. He just thinks we, as a nation, will see through it. He occasionally says something so easily misinterpreted because he assumes that people will listen and interpret rationally. He really believes that enough people out there can connect the dots appropriately.

I'd like to think he's right. At moments like this, though, I have my doubts.

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I liked Bill Clinton... Then I grew up... On selling out and lying as politics as usual...

Once upon a time, I thought highly of Bill Clinton. Sure, I had a few reservations about him. Overall, though, I liked the guy. Then I grew up.

It was easy to look past Bill's more highly-publicized shortcomings. He screwed around. He lied about it. I never felt his carnal urges had much of a bearing on his ability to lead the country. I could put myself in his shoes and imagine myself fibbing under oath and parsing definitions of "sexual relations" to stay out of bigger trouble. The guy bullshitted everyone about Monica and is other assignations but, even as a non-cheater, I could let it slide.

I also looked past his tendency toward triangulation and his willingness to play political hardball in pursuit of his objectives. The means were often stinky, but I often agreed with the desired ends. Even when I disagreed with him on the nuts and bolts of policy, I was willing to accept his techniques because I understood that's "how the game is played".

I even developed a kind of respect for Bill Clinton. I was impressed with the way he could weather controversy. I was astonished by his ability to charm his way out of situations that would doom most politicians.

I think I also liked Bill because the people who were "out to get him" were usually people with whom I disagreed on issues. I, like others, sort of rallied behind Clinton because I despised his foes. Those asshats were more evil and conniving than Bill, but they weren't as good at the game. And, in my estimation, they were on the wrong side.

I liked Bill Clinton. Then I grew up.

Somewhere along the line, I realized that the means were just as important--if not more important--than the ends. I lost my appetite for the fruits of the diseased tree. Winning is important, but the way one wins is just as significant.

I began to understand that the political climate that has produced our current pandering, dishonest, secretive and power-driven government exists because ideas like right, wrong, truth, cooperation and intellectual honesty are secondary to finding a way to "win". Bill Clinton was one of the best players of The Game of the Damned. He wasn't any different than the scumbags who tossed honesty overboard to go after him. He was just better at playing the game.

And that was enough for me, once upon a time. I felt compelled to choose between the jerks on my side and the jerks on the other. I made that choice. Luckily, the big enchilada among my jerks was very talented.

The problem? No one should make that choice. We shouldn't be limited to choosing between two camps of dummies. We shouldn't accept lying and sleaze as an inevitable part of our politics. We should aspire for something better. We should support the idea of government that serves our interests honestly. We must stop compromising the integrity of means in hopes of getting a desired end. If we don't, we end up with more of the same shit none of us really like in the first place.

After all, what did Bill Clinton really give America? Now that time has passed and we can assess his legacy with a little more clarity, what can we say about Bill? The Clinton years were better than the Bush years. That's a given with me. Fine. But what about the bigger picture? We have a fractured politics that continues to center itself on silly and intellectually bankrupt left/right battles that are primarily show biz designed to score votes and backers from relatively discrete small demographic groups. We have a continuing tradition of shitting on honesty and truth in pursuit of desired ends. We have a government people don't trust. Those policy initiatives? Some failed. Some worked. Many are dismantled. Some are now irrelevant as the world changes.

So many of us sold out our decency and integrity because we wanted Bill to get his policies in place. They didn't fundamentally change or better America. They weren't worth the price. We carry the baggage of individual shame for smiling at James Carville because he was on our side when Bill was on the ropes. We tote the guilt of playing a dirty game just because we wanted to win. And all it really did was to enable more of the same from the folks with whom we disagreed.

We dumped more sewage in our front yards in hopes of keeping the heating bills low inside. It was a shitty trade, really, because it merely continued a despicable cycle.

I was down with Bill. Then I grew up.

They say that idealism is just for kids. I don't think so. I think it's valuable. I also believe, that in the long run, it's the only thing that makes sense.

We know what happens when we continue to dabble in corruption and when we embrace assholes in pursuit of temporary goals. It taints us and it locks us into an endless cycle of twisted deals, cheap shots, lies and disgusting abandonment of principles. It locks those with whom we disagree into the same pattern.

Kids may be idealistic, but that's not because they're stupid. It's because they haven't yet sold themselves out for the sake of convenience. Idealism is what you have before you decide to compromise your integrity. It's what you can get when you decide not to play along with the bullshit.

Today, I saw Bill Clinton on television. He was talking about Hillary's tall tale about her visit to Bosnia. He's older now, but he still has some charm. He still turns on that "aw shucks" voice and spins nonsense with great dexterity.

He said Hillary's lies about her visit to Tuzla weren't a big issue. She didn't "rob a bank". She was brave to go--the first First Lady to land in a combat zone since Eleanor Roosevelt. She was just tired and pushing 60 when she told that story. Cut her some slack. It was something that happened one time, late at night, and she apologized for the error right away. No big deal, people. Nothing to see here. Move along. It wasn't a fish story, it was just a sleepy-time goof.

It was vintage Bill Clinton. He was covering up one exaggeration with another lie. He did it with a smile and personality. That stuff used to work for me. Oh, I saw through it, but I accepted it. I didn't want my guy going down and I was cool with him playing fast and loose with the truth to avoid the consequences of his mistakes. That was before I grew up.

Today, I saw Bill a little differently. I saw a guy who is so accustomed to playing in the gutter that he's unwilling to attempt honesty--even with respect to a fairly trivial issue. That's bad enough. What makes it even worse is that Bill knows he's full of shit. He's a smart guy. He's not lying out of habit or stupidity. He's lying because he's learned just how well it works. A little charm, a little mockery, a bit of self-deprecation. Toss it on top of some bullshit and the folks will swallow it. They always do. Those who know better will still play along, because they like Bill. It's simple.

It used to work for me. Until I grew up.

Hillary didn't "misspeak" once about Bosnia. She told the tall tale on multiple occasions. She didn't just repeat the lie late at night during fits of exhaustion. She wasn't having a "senior moment". She was trying to spin a goodwill mission to Bosnia as evidence of Commander in Chief qualifications and she had to lie to do it. Why not? It always works. Just ask Bill. Go back and watch the tapes of her telling the Tuzla Tale. Her body language is a little different. Her voice has a different tone. She's channeling Bill and all of the other bullshit artists who've polluted our politics.

Hillary wasn't the first First Lady to put boots on the ground in a danger zone. Pat Nixon went to Saigon. Hillary didn't immediately apologize for the lie. She never apologized. She said she misspoke. That's it. She lied because the value of honesty, in her estimation, was less than the potential political value of telling the lie. She didn't misspeak. She miscalculated.

And Bill is out there campaigning in the midwest, trying to cover the lie with enough crap to bury it forever. It used to work. He's done it before. This time, though, it's not working. I've grown up. I wish he would, too, because he's a smart guy who could accomplish so much more if he'd step out of the cesspool for a few minutes. He could be valuable. That's not what I'm seeing, though.

I don't see a good guy trying to get good things done who is just playing the game with skill. I see the symptoms of the disease that's disabling our government. I'm seeing the single-minded pursuit of one crew's ends with absolutely no consideration for the ends involved in getting there. It's the sell-out again and I'm not letting it slide anymore just because I liked Bill Clinton.

I grew up.

The good news? It seems like others are growing up a little, too. Perhaps 8 years of watching an amateur bullshit artist try to ply the same trade has convinced us that it's time for something a little less grotesque. Maybe Bill's just losing a step as he ages. Maybe we've seen Hillary, a horrible liar if there's ever been one, butcher the art of crap-slinging so much that we're better able to recognize it. Maybe we're just tired of watching this game played out year after year with nothing to show for it but good zinger soundbites and a few scars.

I don't know, but I do know that it doesn't seem to be working the way it used to. It almost seems anachronistic. I'm hoping we're all burned out on it. I'm just hoping the end is approaching for this kind of crap.

We don't have to hold hands and sing together. We don't have to agree about everything. We aren't even required to be nice to one another. We should, however, have enough courage to confront issues honestly and to debate them with some semblance of intellectual integrity. We should 'fess up to our lies and exaggerations instead of compounding the dishonesty with more of the same. That goes for all of us. I'm not just picking on Bill here.

I've been reading reactions to Bill's comments on The Tall Tale of Tuzla and it appears as though most people--on both sides of the so-called spectrum--aren't buying what Clinton was selling. That's a good sign, I think.

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Sunday, April 6, 2008

Hillary Clinton is a Monster.... Again... She's a delegate poaching, anti-democratic liar, too... Why people don't like Clinton...

Hillary fans get pissed off about all the people who spend their days, like yours truly, hating on The Monster. Why, oh why are we so unfair to Hillary? Why can't we give credit where it is due? Why must we always attack her?

Here's why: She can't go more than 3 days without doing something that shocks the conscience while turning the stomach. The Monster strikes frequently.

Latest example? Pledged delegates.

Officially, no delegate is really "pledged" to a candidate in any contractual sense. Delegates are generally chosen, in large measure, on their loyalty to a candidate. They are, however, free to act on their conscience.

Thus, if you were a pledged delegate for Hillary Clinton, you would be free to change your allegiance in Denver after the drugs wore off and you realized she was an evil beast. Likewise, you could switch from Obama to Hillary, if you were so inclined.

Fine. It's always been that way. It never really happens that way, though. When the convention prom starts, delegates almost universally line up to dance with the folks who "brung 'em there". Very few exceptions.

There's also a longstanding etiquette thing at play. Candidates just don't go delegate poaching. It's considered bad form. Not only is it a rude and obnoxious display of poor sportsmanship (which isn't particularly Presidential behavior). It's also pretty undemocratic when you think about it.

You see, people (regular folks like you and John Brown) caucus or vote. Our preferences are distilled in the form of delegates who are responsible for expressing them at the convention. If our little chunk of the USA is in love with Candidate A, our delegates really should be backing Candidate A, too. If the delegate says, "fuck ya'll" and aligns with Candidate B. Well, hmmm... That would be like... It would be like... Oh, yeah, it would be like our votes didn't count.

In a non-technical sense, rogue delegates would disenfranchise regular Joe voters. They wouldn't represent the will of the people and they would make a complete mockery out of the primary and caucus processes. All of those elections, all of those votes, all of those nights spent listening to Wolf Blitzer talk about early returns from rural counties in random states, all of the yard signs, all of the robo-calls and everything else would would be meaningless.

Delegate poaching is anti-democratic. Yes, it's true that the delegates aren't required to back the people's candidate. That fact is both a safety hatch in the event of something really weird happening and a byproduct of an old and somewhat outmoded system. It is not an excuse to intentionally sabotage democracy.

But The Monster sees it differently. Now.

Once upon a time, she agreed with logic and reason. She even went on record regarding the notion of delegate poaching. She was clear in her stance. Hillary Clinton was adamant. Hillary Clinton wasn't going after pledged delegates and she wasn't going to do it in the future. If anything, The Monster was worried that Barack Obama might make a play in the forbidden zone. Read Hillary Clinton's own words about delegate thievery:

We have not, are not and will not pursue the pledged delegates of Barack Obama. It's now time for the Obama campaign to be clear about their intentions.

That was a reasonable thing to say. It makes sense. You don't go stealing the other candidate's delegates. Hoo-ray for Hillary! Glad she said something reasonable.

The statement was also completely consistent with her arguments about Florida and Michigan. Florida and Michigan, you'll remember, violated DNC rules and held early primaries. Hillary won them, but everyone knew they didn't count (including her). In Michigan, hers was the only name on the ballot.

Hillary, however, wants to make sure the fine Americans in Florida and Michigan do count. She wants every vote to count. She doesn't want to see people disenfranchised. It's an election, not a coronation and it's downright awful to think that people's voices might not be heard. That's what Hillary says. And it's wholly consistent with taking a stance against delegate poaching.

It's also consistent with her prolonged campaign in the face of impossible odds. She says she continues to run because people should have choices. They should be given an opportunity to vote. They should be able to make a difference and to express their will. That sounds very democratic and it's very consistent with her previously-expressed stance on pledged delegates.

The Monster now has a different plan. She was just in North Dakota, you know. Why? They did their caucus a few months ago. What would lead Hillmonster to the Flickertail State?

Well, she was there making a pitch for delegates. Barack Obama's delegates. Pledged delegates.

Hillary Clinton was out poaching.

Take a second to re-read Hillary's previous stance on stealing delegates. The one I quoted earlier. You know, where she said she wasn't doing that and wasn't going to do it. Guess what?

She's a fucking liar.

Again. While ducking fire from snipers, Hillary Clinton said the following, per ABC News:

Clinton made it clear to North Dakota Democrats last night that she believes there is no such thing as a pledged delegate and highlighted that stubborn streak in her appeal for delegates to switch from Obama to her when the Democratic national party holds its nominating convention this August.

"I am here tonight because I am seeking your support," Clinton said, adding that she never gives up.

"I know what it's like to stumble. I know what it means to get knocked down. But I've never stayed down. I never will and neither will America if we get ready to win this election in November," she said.

My initial response? A hearty "fuck you". My second? "You're a liar". My third? "And a hypocrite".

Hillary Clinton wants every vote to count in Florida and Michigan. She wants every vote to mean something in every remaining state. She recoils at the idea of disenfranchisement. My ass. She's a liar.

Because right now, as you read this, The Monster is plotting to disenfranchise YOU. And ME. And the people of North Dakota and everywhere else where votes were made and delegates chosen. She wants delegates, whose sole purpose is to represent the will of their districts, to stab voters in their backs. She wants them to switch to Hillary.

She doesn't want them to do that because it's democratic. Or fair. Or decent. She wants to do it because she can and because she wants to win. By whatever means necessary. She's Rocky Balboa, but with loaded gloves. She's the UND hockey team, but with a paid off ref. She's a fighter, but her strategy is all head butts and groin kicks. The Monster is a liar and she doesn't give one-third of a rat's ass if anything she does to get to Pennsylvania Avenue is right, honest, decent or democratic.

And that, Hillary fans, is why people hate Hillary Clinton.

It isn't her gender. It isn't media bias. It isn't her husband. It isn't ________. The reason so many people dislike Hillary Clinton so much is that she really is a Monster.

Please, oh please, Hillary Clinton supporters, defend this bullshit. I need an explanation.

How do you go from "I won't do that" to "I'm doing that". How do you intentionally try to render millions of votes meaningless while simultaneously bitching and moaning about others being disenfranchised because they didn't play by party rules? How can you argue that every vote must count while trying your damnedest to render the votes you didn't like meaningless?

Her campaign is diseased. She won't win. The Monsters never win. They just cause mayhem and spill blood indiscriminately until they lose. So it is with Hillary Clinton, monster.


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