Hillary fans get pissed off about all the people who spend their days, like yours truly, hating on The Monster. Why, oh why are we so unfair to Hillary? Why can't we give credit where it is due? Why must we always attack her?
Here's why: She can't go more than 3 days without doing something that shocks the conscience while turning the stomach.
The Monster strikes frequently.
Latest example? Pledged delegates.
Officially, no delegate is really "pledged" to a candidate in any contractual sense. Delegates are generally chosen, in large measure, on their loyalty to a candidate. They are, however, free to act on their conscience.
Thus, if you were a pledged delegate for Hillary Clinton, you would be free to change your allegiance in Denver after the drugs wore off and you realized she was an evil beast. Likewise, you could switch from Obama to Hillary, if you were so inclined.
Fine. It's always been that way. It never really happens that way, though. When the convention prom starts, delegates almost universally line up to dance with the folks who "brung 'em there". Very few exceptions.
There's also a longstanding etiquette thing at play. Candidates just don't go delegate poaching. It's considered bad form. Not only is it a rude and obnoxious display of poor sportsmanship (which isn't particularly Presidential behavior). It's also pretty undemocratic when you think about it.
You see, people (regular folks like you and John Brown) caucus or vote. Our preferences are distilled in the form of delegates who are responsible for expressing them at the convention. If our little chunk of the USA is in love with Candidate A, our delegates really should be backing Candidate A, too. If the delegate says, "fuck ya'll" and aligns with Candidate B. Well, hmmm... That would be like... It would be like... Oh, yeah, it would be like our votes didn't count.
In a non-technical sense, rogue delegates would disenfranchise regular Joe voters. They wouldn't represent the will of the people and they would make a complete mockery out of the primary and caucus processes. All of those elections, all of those votes, all of those nights spent listening to Wolf Blitzer talk about early returns from rural counties in random states, all of the yard signs, all of the robo-calls and everything else would would be meaningless.
Delegate poaching is anti-democratic. Yes, it's true that the delegates aren't required to back the people's candidate. That fact is both a safety hatch in the event of something really weird happening and a byproduct of an old and somewhat outmoded system. It is not an excuse to intentionally sabotage democracy.
But The Monster sees it differently.
Now.
Once upon a time, she agreed with logic and reason. She even went on record regarding the notion of delegate poaching. She was clear in her stance. Hillary Clinton was adamant. Hillary Clinton wasn't going after pledged delegates and she wasn't going to do it in the future. If anything, The Monster was worried that Barack Obama might make a play in the forbidden zone. Read Hillary Clinton's own words about
delegate thievery:
We have not, are not and will not pursue the pledged delegates of Barack Obama. It's now time for the Obama campaign to be clear about their intentions.That was a reasonable thing to say. It makes sense. You don't go stealing the other candidate's delegates. Hoo-ray for Hillary! Glad she said something reasonable.
The statement was also completely consistent with her arguments about Florida and Michigan. Florida and Michigan, you'll remember, violated DNC rules and held early primaries. Hillary won them, but everyone knew they didn't count (including her). In Michigan, hers was the only name on the ballot.
Hillary, however, wants to make sure the fine Americans in Florida and Michigan do count. She wants every vote to count. She doesn't want to see people disenfranchised. It's an election, not a coronation and it's downright awful to think that people's voices might not be heard. That's what Hillary says. And it's wholly consistent with taking a stance against delegate poaching.
It's also consistent with her prolonged campaign in the face of impossible odds. She says she continues to run because people should have choices. They should be given an opportunity to vote. They should be able to make a difference and to express their will. That sounds very democratic and it's very consistent with her previously-expressed stance on pledged delegates.
The Monster
now has a
different plan. She was just in North Dakota, you know. Why? They did their caucus a few months ago. What would lead Hillmonster to the Flickertail State?
Well, she was there making a pitch for delegates. Barack Obama's delegates. Pledged delegates.
Hillary Clinton was out poaching.
Take a second to re-read Hillary's previous stance on stealing delegates. The one I quoted earlier. You know, where she said she wasn't doing that and wasn't going to do it. Guess what?
She's a fucking liar.
Again. While ducking fire from snipers, Hillary Clinton said the following, per
ABC News:
Clinton made it clear to North Dakota Democrats last night that she believes there is no such thing as a pledged delegate and highlighted that stubborn streak in her appeal for delegates to switch from Obama to her when the Democratic national party holds its nominating convention this August. "I am here tonight because I am seeking your support," Clinton said, adding that she never gives up.
"I know what it's like to stumble. I know what it means to get knocked down. But I've never stayed down. I never will and neither will America if we get ready to win this election in November," she said.
My initial response? A hearty "fuck you". My second? "You're a liar". My third? "And a hypocrite".
Hillary Clinton wants every vote to count in Florida and Michigan. She wants every vote to mean something in every remaining state. She recoils at the idea of disenfranchisement. My ass. She's a liar.
Because right now, as you read this, The Monster is plotting to disenfranchise YOU. And ME. And the people of North Dakota and everywhere else where votes were made and delegates chosen. She wants delegates, whose sole purpose is to represent the will of their districts, to stab voters in their backs. She wants them to switch to Hillary.
She doesn't want them to do that because it's democratic. Or fair. Or decent. She wants to do it because she can and because she wants to win. By whatever means necessary. She's Rocky Balboa, but with loaded gloves. She's the UND hockey team, but with a paid off ref. She's a fighter, but her strategy is all head butts and groin kicks. The Monster is a liar and she doesn't give one-third of a rat's ass if anything she does to get to Pennsylvania Avenue is right, honest, decent or democratic.
And that, Hillary fans, is why people hate Hillary Clinton.
It isn't her gender. It isn't media bias. It isn't her husband. It isn't ________. The reason so many people dislike Hillary Clinton so much is that she really is a Monster.
Please, oh please, Hillary Clinton supporters, defend this bullshit. I need an explanation.
How do you go from "I won't do that" to "I'm doing that". How do you intentionally try to render millions of votes meaningless while simultaneously bitching and moaning about others being disenfranchised because they didn't play by party rules? How can you argue that every vote must count while trying your damnedest to render the votes you didn't like meaningless?
Her campaign is diseased.
She won't win. The Monsters never win. They just cause mayhem and spill blood indiscriminately until they lose. So it is with Hillary Clinton, monster.
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Yeah, I know. It's too easy. It's not all that productive. It's sooooo obvious. Others do it better. It's juvenile. Fine. Fine. Fine. I still can't resist making fun of famed best-selling author, warner of lawsuits and sex industry super-sleuth Taylor Marsh.
