Friday, April 18, 2008

Barack Obama flips the monster off, they say... The bird is the word... An illustrated lesson in flipping people off...

This is what it looks like when a kid flips you off.

This is what it might look like if Jesus flipped you the bird.

This is what it looked like when Johnny Cash gave the finger.

Girls know how to flip you off.

This crazy fucker dressed up like Burger King and showed the world at least 50 different ways to give the finger.

This is what a flip off looks like.

This is what George Bush looks like when flipping someone off.

Sexy finger.

Evangeline Lily finger.

Flaming finger.

An artist's interpretation of Taylor Marsh giving someone the bird.

Again, it's so easy a baby can do it.

Jerry Lee Lewis flipping the bird... In stereo!

A drawing.

This is what flipping someone off looks like, just in case you still don't get it.

This is NOT someone flipping the bird.

No, no, no. I don't care if you're so batshit crazyblind that you still think that was Barack Obama flipping Hillary Clinton off, it didn't really happen. Look again. Not a flip off.

Two fingers. Unless you're doing a two-hander, the flip off has one finger extended.

Having an itch is not the same as calling out Monster for being a bitch. Yes, that rhymes. Again, just in case you're half as delusional as the Taylor Marsh fan club who has been pissing their Depends over this, it is not the bird. Let's compare to a real flip off one more time so you can see the difference.

Here are a list of people who are so far gone that they still don't get it. These are the freaky goofs who think Barack Obama flipped off Hillary Clinton. Sweet Baby Jesus flipping off the wise man who brought him myrrh, these people are beyond help. Know the stupid so that you don't accidentally take them seriously at some point in the future.

Garlin Guage wonders if Obama "overplayed his hand". I wonder if Garlin knows he's a dipshit?

The Tribunal Blog says it was "intentional" and draws a parallel with Obama's perspective on small town hicks. I say The Tribunal Blog is not rad, hip, cool or awsome [sic].

Strategic Geography thinks Barry was giving the bird because "it is such an amorphous, non-committal, unmanly flip off, just like everything else in his campaign". StratGeo not only opines about that which is manly, he also writes a lot about Andrew Sullivan. Just sayin'...

Radical Left is disturbed by Obama's fingers(s), citing it as "another example of his demeaning attitude toward Clinton and women in general". Me? I'm disturbed at the idea that blind Max Blunt might have a driver's license.

NoQuarter jumped to attack Obama, saying that flip off "is undeniable — I have asked several people to confirm — that he indeed did give Hillary the finger, and it’s clear from the audience reaction that he did so." That's what happens when you seek confirmation from the mentally ill, though.

Theodore's World studied Obama's hand movements and concluded that "he uses his index finger constantly not his middle finger , so this made it even more obvious when he did this". Bonus points for Teddy Whiz Kid, who also busted out the tried and true "B. Hussein Obama" in his asshattish little blogospheric contribution.

There are many others, but I want to mention just one more... The inimitable Ms. Taylor Marsh. She says it was "unmistakable". Unmistakable. God have mercy on her fucked up soul.

This is for all of them...


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  1. Hilarious!

    Great stuff seriously.

    As I posted on No Quarter when they first 'broke the story', "I've come to the conclusion that most of the folks that post on this site are batshitcrazy"...

    Thats all I can come up with as far as the folks in your list above also.

    They've all lost their marbles.
    I can't even imagine how nuts its going to be once Wild Hillary "Screw Em" Hickok is finally out of the race, and then is forced to go around the country eating crow to get Obama elected.
    It should be quite a show....
    (my better half was born in Kansas City Mo. Mom in law and most of her family is still in your parts)

  2. Billy-

    Happy to provide a laugh. Nice that you have family 'round here, but if they're on the Mizzou side a guy named John Brown can't say too much good 'bout 'em.

    It will be quite the show once Monster & Bill hit the road for BO, won't it?


    John Brown
    Free Stater

  3. Love the Depends comment. I'll be sure to use a little of that next time I wander over to mess with the TM crowd, if you don't mind!

  4. You really are my new favor blogging hero. Seriously. HERO.

    Yeah... LOVE IT.

    And for your collection:

    ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
    ..........''...\.......... _.·´

  5. This is like the idiots who still talk about Obama middle name after the Wright made up controversy. Kind of hard to be both a Christian and a Muslim at the same time. lolll Some peoples are fixated on destroying Obama at all cost because he took out their "Inevitable candidate" that they would twist and say anything to get their way.

  6. anon-

    jokes about adult diapers are, generally, a good idea. or so i've been told.

    best of luck and thanks for reading.

    your amigo,

    john brown
    i am an i-i-island

  7. t-

    ascii representations are a noble and dying art form. thanks for bringing one here.

    i've always wanted to be someone's hero of some sort.

    glad to have you here,

    john brown
    10 consecutive sneezes interrupted this response

  8. rambling j--

    My favorite part of that whole thing was last week's blip that wright used to be Muslim, which allowed the nutty bars to argue that bHo really WAS a closet Islam fan and that Wright's version of Christianity was actually a thinly veiled version of Islam.

    People are stupid, huh?

    Your homie,

    John Brown
    I Don't Enjoy Abba

  9. you should have posted the video not just a snap shot.. makes one wonder for whom you are voting for in November.

  10. anon-

    i didn't post the video out of laziness.

    plus the fact it's unnecessary.

    don't wonder, just ask. better yet, look around for about 4.2 seconds and figure it out for yourself.

    i'm backing obama, with reservations. i'm unable to back the monster because i still have a heart, soul and brain.

    have a good weekend,

    john brown
    ask and ye shall receive

  11. What I keep wondering is, how people who apparently can't count to TWO operate computers? How do they distinguish between "on" and "off"? How do they grasp the exponentially more difficult concept of a keyboard layout? How do they figure out the tab mechanism on their Depends? It's a mystery...

  12. Betty-

    There is a certain kind of stupidity that remains hidden until certain things are on the table, isn't there?

    You wouldn't think those asshats would be able to string a sentence together based on their apparent lack of reasoning skills. Yet they do.

    It's really because they're not dumb, just wrong. It happens. I've been there. Everyone has.

    Thankfully, I tend to keep a relatively open mind and am willing to admit goofs and move on, smarter.

    They should be so lucky. Maybe they're just too proud.

    Or stupid. I just threw that out there again for fun.

    Yours in amazement,

    John Brown
    I'm Flipping You Off RIGHT NOW, but in a Good Way

  13. You forgot my favorite middle finger. Katie Couric

  14. Cali-T-

    Thanks for the addition to my Celebrity Bird Flipping Collection.

    Something tells me I would live that picture if given the opportunity to talk with Couric for about an hour.


    John Brown
    Bird IS the Word