John Brown is too lazy to write a detailed post on a single topic... Dot-dot-dot ramblings ala King...

In honor of Larry King, still revered as the ultimate "lazy man's columnist", I'm going dot-dot-dot today...

Larry King is 124 years old and has a kid who's 9. That's weird enough. Even stranger? King is a volunteer little league coach for the munchkin. And he's one of those coaches. You know, the grown-ups who completely ruin it for the kids...

Maureen Dowd thinks Hillary is performing a vital function by being an asshole--training Barack Obama to handle future asshole onslaughts. Of course, Dowd dresses it up in opera analogies, but that's the gist of her column. Somehow, it's now okay to be a phony "blue-collar mama" and to be a political Monster if the insanity serves to forge a stronger opponent? Dowd has a problem with means/ends distinctions...

Everyone in the world seems to be experiencing shock and awe at the audacity of Iraq's newborn government. Apparently, its decision to do something on its own not only surprised its keepers (including John McCain), it also didn't work out all that well. Pro-occupation people: If you're gonna run this show, run it. Pro-pullout people: Consider what you'll get if the Iraqi's do "step up". It's gonna be messy either way...

Ted Turner says that we'll all be eating one another for dinner after global warming hoses the planet in 30 or 40 years. Not quite, Ted. Warming will cause a rapid ice age onset and Dennis Quaid will go rescue his kid. It will be creepy and dangerous, but no cannibalism. If the Quaid scenario doesn't kick in, I just pray that I don't get stuck eating the head of Ted Turner. The idea of picking his wiry white mustache hairs from between my teeth is disconcerting...

Linda Lutz-Rolon may be right. She might be wrong. I don't know. I do know that she is a serious ass-kicker. The American Airlines flight attendant received an award for her top-notch service, which included more than giving people 2 oz. of 7-up on top of 6 oz. of ice. Anyway, when she got the award--cameras rolling--she went apeshit on the airlines. This tale is so freaking fresh that I can't even find a good link for it yet. Linda=Guts...

The Kansas City Royals are undefeated. Yeah, they have 160 upcoming opportunities to lose. Nonetheless, having the Royals in 1st place for more than one day is a gift from God. Every season baseball fans invent bullshit scenarios in which their favorite teams win it all. Every season. Those hopes are usually dashed before the All-Star game. If you back the Royals, they're usually vanquished before May Day. Still, the wishful thinking continues year after year. In a culture of cynicism and pessimism, spring baseball is important. It's a reminder that we can be a little hopeful and optimistic. At least for a week or so. Today, Zack Greinke takes the hill against Jeremy Bonderman. The Royals hot opening cools. Then again, maybe not. I'm hopeful. It will be fun to watch the game in Detroit...

Unless Larry King shows up...

Oh, and I'm so sick of this Clinton vs. Richardson thing that I might vomit. Or write a long post about it later. I'll leave it up to you to discern whether there's really much of a difference there.




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