Thursday, April 24, 2008

If reality was fantasy, Hillary would be a lock to win! More from the Marsh...

Yeah, I know. It's too easy. It's not all that productive. It's sooooo obvious. Others do it better. It's juvenile. Fine. Fine. Fine. I still can't resist making fun of famed best-selling author, warner of lawsuits and sex industry super-sleuth Taylor Marsh.

Clinton Leads in Popular Vote... if you count Michigan and Florida.

This gem, from astute political observer and famed talk radio personality (cue laugh track) Taylor Marsh is one of my favorites this morning.

If you count the elections that everyone knew didn't count, Hillary leads the popular vote! If you count the election in which Obama's name wasn't on the fucking ballot, Hillary's ahead.

If April was December, Christmas would be right around the corner! If John Bale and Brett Tomko were legit Cy Young hopefuls, the Royals would be contenders this year! If Monster wasn't trailing, she'd be ahead!

If inches were feet, I'd have a 6' schlong!

Remember, the genius behind "if you count Florida and Michigan" is begging her devoted following of wine-drunk fellow Monster fans to lobby Air America so she can get real mic time. You know what to do.

Hotel Space Available for Inauguration--CHEAP!!!

"Kelly", a Taylor Marsh super-fan and a worshipper at the Altar of Monster, is getting ready to book space in DC for the inauguration. This delusional decision to spend cash in hopes of seeing Monster put her claws on the good book means one thing and one thing only to those who aren't drunk on cheap boxed wine--Kelly's gonna be selling later.

Need a room while in Washington to watch Obama or McCain take the oath? Get in touch with Kelly. She'll have hotel space at a discount! You can reach her via the comment section at The Silliest Blog in America.

From the swamp of Marsh comments:

And only mildly OT ... where's the best place to stay in DC for the inauguration? My partner gave me the go-ahead last night to make reservations!


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  1. I'd suggest the Hay Adams but Martians seem more like Red Roof Inn types.

  2. It's amazing how, once you start dipping in that well, how anything becomes possible.

    My suggestion for a last ditch effort to win some nomination, any nomination for the ex-first lady: magic.

    It's just as likely as anything else, at this point. Cheating doesn't seem to working, at this point.

    If she needs source cites, I'm sure we could oblige.

  3. John perhaps you can go in with Kelly on a group package. She gets her inauguration reservations and you get a Chiefs Super Bowl package in Tampa.

  4. Hey! There's a fairly new Hampton Inn in Crystal City that'd be perfect for them. All the Clintonistas will be drinking the boxed muscatel on the 13th floor.

    Say, was that an elitist thing for me to say? I'm sure the boxed muscatel is feeling a bit insulted.

  5. ben-

    the well is deep.
    and poisoned.

    i've long wondered when hillary would finally unleash magic. the time may be coming.

    john brown
    i kinda like really tall strippers

  6. kccritch-

    I want to watch all of the Royals away World Series games, too. Wonder if I can book that as part of the package.

    Yours truly,
    John Brown
    Whose Hope Springs Eternal

  7. Anon-

    Yes, you are an elitist.
    Welcome to Prepare Yourselves for a Settlement.

    Glad to have you aboard,

    John Brown
    L33T since the 70s

  8. John Brown ignored my extremely witty and insightful comment! And it was the first one. That's it, I'm giving some money to the Monster!

  9. No Joshua, please DON'T FEED THE KRAKEN!!!!!

  10. Joshua-

    I don't know how I missed it, but I did.

    Please, please don't run to the darkness!

    Have you been to the Hay Adams? I was in the lobby once. Relatively swanky place, by the looks of it.

    Definitely a hangout for the elite.

    Everyday salt of the earth folk like Hillary's band of blue-collar working folk probably would go Red Roof.

    Yours in shame,
    John Brown
    Failed Comment Responder

  11. kccritch-

    Thanks to you, I just googled Kraken to learn exactly what it was.

    And they say making and responding to a series of snotty blog comments won't make you smarter. That is obviously a bunch of crap.

    I saw the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean movie, none of the subsequent installments. Based on my quick research, the Kraken is featured in those... Don't know how I forgot.

    We can only hope that Joshua doesn't "go there", he seems like a nice guy and I'd hate to see him contract a case of Hillary-induced soul cancer.

    John Brown
    30-Year, Fixed Rate Ass Kicking

  12. On Wednesday the following post appeared on the popular liberal Daily Kos blog, and it received several comments — but it has since been removed:

    Oh dear. Some of you may have seen that crazy guy who popped up on Youtube making ridiculous allegations about limo sex against Barack Obama. Since he first appeared, he has been doing everything possible to get noticed by the media and to my complete shock, he has actually succeeded. A TV Show in Puerto Rico called SuperXclusivo (apparently a very popular show) had a phone interview with him earlier today. I didn’t watch the whole thing but they didn’t even ask him for any evidence whatsoever for his claims. Obviously, there is a PRIMARY in Puerto Rico in a few months, so this is pretty troubling. I saw the clip on Youtube and I believe it aired later today. This is a very popular show. I am somewhat freaking out. What do you guys think? Link below the fold.

    Larry Sinclair, the man who claims to have used drugs and had sex with Obama in 1999, believes the site took the post down once it was clear that it was becoming popular.

    In recent days, the gay press has expressed concerns that Obama has chosen not to do interviews with members from its community.

    The Puerto Rican news interview with Sinclair has yet to appear online.

  13. Anon who won't come back to read this...

    I answered your comment spam on another post because I sort of felt obliged to make fun of you.

    I'm not going to do it here, too.

    I don't plan on moderating posts or being a big asshole about spamming, but it is irritating when complete asshats feel the need to recite the same fucking drivel on a series of posts.

    I dare you to come back and actually defend your crap by the way. Longshot, I know.

    Your buddy,
    John Brown
    Killin' Time before Killin' Time

  14. Okay. Fair point. I will not disrespect your blog. You have been fair with me. My apologies and no more comments about Barry and the you-know-what stories. Mmm'kay?

  15. Are you a homosexualist?

  16. What the hell is a homosexualist? Is that like, 'teh gay' or something?

    And damn, I missed that comment. Nice catch.

  17. I haven't been to the Hay-Adams, but my girlfriend stayed there a lot on business. She reports that it is quite swanky. They are apparently very vigilant about keeping crazed ranty mentally ill homeless out of the lobby so I assume a TM fan wouldn't make it very far past the door.

  18. >>>>"I haven't been to the Hay-Adams, but my girlfriend stayed there a lot on business. She reports that it is quite swanky."

    And what type of "business" regularly takes your "girlfriend" to "swanky" hotels in Washington? Was she "meeting" a governor or congressman? Or were those "just words"?

    Hopefully your "girlfriend" will book you some roofs at the Indianapolis Hyatt for the Clinton victory party! It will be quite "swanky"!